So Many Tears
So many tears, so much pain
Im just waiting for that day where I find that exotic lamp
Maybe then I’ll know what its like to have a whole new world
And fuck the dumb shit, its not cuz I like Disney
But maybe Waltz was on to something
Hope is the fuel to one’s success
But ‘round these parts, prices is to expensive
I been runnin on empty for a long time coming
Like I drove to hell and back on doubtless, countless fumes
Every time I swallow my words I cough blood
Stuttering apprehensive words off my oppressed tongue
I try to annunciate: S-s-s-soooo m-m-m-many t-t-t-tears S-s-s-so m-m-m-much p-p-pain
Like a mentally ill patient with a speech impairment, only worse cuz
For so long I have choose to be this way
Lingering on the outskirts of the Getty confidence station
I can never pump it into me
I always admired our past time leaders
What I would do to speak with the tenacity of Malcom X
The intelligence of Dr. Martin Luther King
The clever rhetoric of Socrates
I wonder if these great thinkers ever shed tears over their beliefs
And if so, I would give everything I have to catch a drop,
Maybe then will I understand what confidence is
So many tears, so much pain
Do I share between these lines
Every time that I dot my “i” they fall off the page because I don’t press the ink hard enough, I often ask myself why
Why do I shed tears of confidence when beneath my skin lay shadows?
Skin deep are my darkest fears, beyond the place of the devil’s wrath
I come to realize that sun eventually rises and not just on occasion
So I should be more like sol, then I shall seek the truth
The root of all these tears, all this pain
And when I find the answers I am searching for, I will stand tall
On top of all my endeavors, higher then Everest
Shattering Teflon barriers that blocked the ability to progress
Like a depressed victim, just open up
Im gonna open up to the idea that, no, the world is not filled with emotional terrorists
I am an indestructible sky scraper
I will think above my enemy
I will not crumble to the lightest fear in my heart
So many tears, so much pain, but I prevail